The "Kitchen Table Test": How to Write Copy That Sounds Like a Friend Talking
If there's one thing I've learnt over the years working with 75+ brands, it's this: the copy that converts best sounds like it's coming from a trusted friend, not a faceless corporation.
That's where the "Kitchen Table Test" comes in — a simple but game-changing approach to writing copy that feels like a genuine conversation happening at your kitchen table. The kind where you're comfortable, coffee in hand, chatting with someone who has your best interests at heart.
What exactly is the Kitchen Table Test?
It's pretty simple, really. The Kitchen Table Test asks: "Would I actually say this to a friend sitting across from me at my kitchen table?" If the answer is no, your copy needs work.
This concept isn't brand new — it has deep roots in direct response copywriting and relationship marketing pioneered by legends like Eugene Schwartz and more recently championed by writers like Ann Handley, who famously advocates "writing to one person."
But why does this matter? Because nowadays, the average person is bombarded with over 10,000 advertisements daily (according to a 2023 study by the American Marketing Association). That's a ridiculous number of messages fighting for attention.
The ones that cut through are those that sound human.
Research backs this up. Conversational copy consistently delivers 20-30% higher engagement rates and conversion improvements of 10-15% compared to traditional corporate-speak. And there's fascinating neuroscience behind it too — our brains process friendly conversation differently than promotional content, activating areas associated with trust and connection rather than scepticism.
Why the Kitchen Table Test works
Let's get into the psychology of it all, shall we?
The authenticity factor
According to the Stackla Consumer Content Report, 86% of consumers say authenticity is important when deciding which brands to support. When you write like you talk, you instantly come across as more genuine.
Think about it — we're hardwired to connect with other humans, not with carefully constructed marketing messages. This is where the "Mere Exposure Effect" comes into play. We naturally gravitate toward things (and language patterns) that feel familiar.
The oxytocin connection
There's even a biological component at work. Friendly conversations trigger the release of oxytocin — sometimes called the "trust hormone" — which plays a crucial role in bonding and decision-making. When your copy mimics a friendly chat, you're essentially hacking this biological response to build trust faster.
Real results from real brands
Take Mailchimp, for instance. Their shift to conversational copy directly contributed to a 419% growth rate over three years. Chewy's customer service communications, written in a warm, kitchen-table tone, regularly go viral on social media, creating word-of-mouth marketing gold.
Or look at Dollar Shave Club — they disrupted an entire industry not just with their business model but with copy that sounded like advice from your hilariously straight-talking mate.
The connection between your brand's personality, tone of voice, and the conversations you create is impossible to ignore. And the Kitchen Table Test helps you get that balance just right.
Key elements of conversational copy that passes the test
Right, so what makes copy sound like it's coming from a friend rather than a corporation? Here are the essential ingredients:
Natural language patterns
There's a massive difference between "written" and "spoken" language patterns. Written language tends to be more formal, with complex sentence structures and fewer contractions. Spoken language is looser, more rhythmic, and uses contractions liberally (it's, you're, we've).
For example:
❌ "Our innovative solution facilitates optimal productivity enhancement."
✓ "Our tool helps you get more done in less time. Simple as that."
Personal pronouns and direct address
Notice how I'm using "you" and "I" throughout this post? That's no accident. Personal pronouns establish a relationship dynamic that feels one-to-one rather than one-to-many.
Research shows that copy using "you" and "I" generates 21% higher engagement than copy that doesn't (Content Marketing Institute, 2022).
Ditch the jargon
Marketing-speak creates what linguists call the "foreign language effect." When people encounter unfamiliar terminology, it triggers cognitive strain and makes them less likely to trust what they're reading.
Be ruthless about cutting jargon. If you wouldn't use a term when explaining your product to a friend, it shouldn't be in your copy.
Storytelling and anecdotes
Our brains are literally wired for stories. Information delivered through narrative is retained at rates 22% higher than facts delivered in isolation (Journal of Marketing Communications, 2021).
The next time you're explaining a complex feature, try framing it as a mini-story about how someone used it to solve a problem.
Emotional intelligence
Friends adjust their tone based on your emotional state. If you're excited, they match your enthusiasm. If you're worried, they become reassuring.
Great conversational copy works the same way — it matches the emotional state of the reader. This requires understanding where they are in their journey and what they're feeling at that moment.
Sentence variety and rhythm
Notice how I'm mixing longer sentences with super short ones?
Like this.
That creates rhythm. It mimics the natural cadence of conversation, which rarely maintains the same pace throughout. This variation keeps readers engaged and makes your copy feel more human.
The Kitchen Table Test checklist
Before hitting publish on any piece of copy, run it through this practical checklist:
Read it aloud — Does it sound natural when spoken, or do you stumble over phrases no human would actually say?
The coffee test — Would you actually say this to a friend over coffee, or would they look at you strangely?
The cringe test — Does any part make you wince when imagining saying it face-to-face? (Be ruthlessly honest here)
Jargon detector — Circle any words or phrases you wouldn't use in everyday conversation. Do they really need to be there?
Direct address — Does your copy speak directly to the reader and anticipate their questions?
Pain point check — Does it acknowledge real customer pain points without exaggeration?
The eye roll test — Would a skeptical friend roll their eyes at any part of your copy? If yes, rewrite.
The humanity check — Does it sound like it was written by a human or generated by AI? (Ironic, I know, coming from a blog post about human connection)
The interruption test — If this were a real conversation, would someone interrupt to ask, "What does that mean?" at any point?
The explanation test — Are you explaining things simply or complicating them unnecessarily?
Practical exercises to improve your conversational copy
Want to level up your conversational copywriting skills? Try these exercises I use with my clients:
The grandmother technique
Explain your product or service as if you're telling your grandmother about it. This forces you to use simple language and focus on benefits rather than features.
For example, instead of: "Our SaaS platform leverages proprietary algorithms to optimise workflow efficiency."
You might say: "We made a tool that helps you finish your work faster so you can go home earlier."
Record and transcribe
This is my absolute favourite technique. Record yourself explaining your product or service to someone who knows nothing about it. Then transcribe it word for word.
You'll notice patterns in how you naturally explain complex concepts that you can apply to your written copy. The pauses, the analogies, the simplifications — they're all gold.
The friend email method
Write an email to a close friend explaining why they should use your product or service. Don't overthink it — just write as if you're genuinely recommending something you believe in to someone you care about.
Then adapt that email into copy for your website or marketing materials.
The text message challenge
Try condensing your main selling points into text messages. What would you say if you had to get your point across in 160 characters or less? This forces brutal clarity and conversational language.
The translation challenge
Take a piece of formal copy and "translate" it into language you'd use with a friend. Do this exercise regularly, and you'll develop a sense for spotting and fixing corporate-speak in your writing.
Common mistakes to avoid
Even skilled copywriters fall into these traps when trying to sound conversational:
Forced familiarity
Nothing makes copy sound more artificial than forced familiarity. "Hey friend!" or "What's up, fam?" comes across as insincere unless that's genuinely how you talk.
Trying too hard to be cool
Using slang or trendy language that doesn't fit your brand just makes you sound like a dad at a teenager's party. Authenticity trumps coolness every time.
Inconsistent voice
If your landing page sounds like a chatty friend, but your emails read like legal documents, you're creating trust issues. Consistency is crucial across all platforms.
Undermining credibility
There's a fine line between conversational and unprofessional. For serious topics or industries (finance, healthcare, legal), you can still be conversational while maintaining appropriate authority.
Over-editing
Sometimes in pursuit of "perfect" copy, we edit out all the personality. Trust your initial conversational instincts more than your inner perfectionist.
Adapting the Kitchen Table Test for different platforms
The Kitchen Table Test works across all marketing channels, but needs slight adjustments for each:
Email marketing
Subject lines are crucial here. Would a friend use that subject line in an email to you? Probably not if it's "LIMITED TIME OFFER INSIDE!!!" Think about the emails you actually open from friends and mimic that approach.
According to a study by Mailchimp, emails with conversational subject lines see open rates 21% higher than traditional marketing language.
Social media
Each platform has its own conversational norms. LinkedIn is like talking to a colleague over lunch. Instagram is more like chatting at a casual party. Twitter is like passing comments in a busy room. Adapt accordingly.
Website copy
Think of your website as a conversation that guides visitors through your virtual home. The homepage is your greeting, product pages are where you explain how you can help, and so on.
Video scripts
Nothing exposes unnatural language faster than trying to say it on camera. Write scripts that sound natural when spoken, not just when read. Use contractions, remove unnecessary words, and always read aloud before filming.
The science behind conversational copy
Our brains are fascinating when it comes to processing language:
Processing fluency
Psychologists call it "processing fluency" — how easily our brains can digest information. Conversational language reduces cognitive load, making it easier for readers to understand and remember your message.
Studies show that reducing cognitive load increases the likelihood of a positive response to your message.
Mirror neurons
Our brains contain something called mirror neurons that activate both when we perform an action and when we see someone else perform that action. These same neurons fire when we read conversational copy, creating a sense of connection with the writer.
Word choice psychology
High-emotion words (amazing, terrible, delighted) trigger different brain responses than neutral words (adequate, suitable, satisfied). In conversational copy, judicious use of emotional language creates stronger connections.
Creating your brand's kitchen table voice
Ready to develop your own conversational brand voice? Here's a quick process:
Voice development workshop
Gather your team and ask: "If our brand were a person, how would they talk? What words would they use? What words would they never use?"
Create lists of "say this, not that" examples specific to your brand.
Conversation guardrails
Develop clear guidelines about what your brand would and wouldn't say. For example, "We use contractions," or "We don't use industry jargon without explaining it."
Evolution vs consistency
Your brand voice should evolve naturally over time, just as your own speaking style does. Review your voice guidelines annually to ensure they still reflect your brand personality.
Putting it all together
The Kitchen Table Test isn't just a nice theory — it's a practical approach to writing copy that connects and converts. In an increasingly AI-dominated landscape, your human voice becomes your competitive advantage.
Let's be honest: AI can write decent marketing copy. What it can't do (yet) is capture the unique cadence and personality that makes your brand distinctively human.
Your ability to write as if you're sitting at the kitchen table with your customer, coffee in hand, genuinely trying to help solve their problem — that's marketing gold.
Because at the end of the day, people don't buy from brands. They buy from people they trust.
And trust begins with a conversation that feels real.
Ready to transform your brand's voice? Book a discovery call with me, and let's chat about how I can help your copy pass the Kitchen Table Test with flying colours.
Sources: & recommended reading
Everybody Writes by Ann Handley and Conversational Copywriting by Nick Usborne
American Marketing Association, "Advertising Exposure Study," 2023
Content Marketing Institute, "Engagement Metrics Report," 2022
Journal of Marketing Communications, "Narrative Persuasion in Marketing," 2021
Forbes, "Conversational Marketing Metrics," 2023
